Loving Someone You Don’t Agree With

Merry Christmas!

Christmas was magical when I was a child. We neatly prepared and hid the gifts, often weeks ahead. On the day, the whole house was filled with the aroma of the wealth of food and golden lights sparkled in every corner.

In our family presents were given in the evening after dinner. Someone sneaked into the living room and rang a small bell. I can still hear the chiming sound of it. This bell was the real magic. It signalled that the presents arrived. We children attacked the room and looted the goodies.

It was truly magical.

Recently I was thinking if there would be one gift I would give to the world, what would that be? Before I launch into it. At this point, if you haven’t asked yourself yet. Pause for a minute or two. If there would be one gift you could give to the world, what would it be?

…

If I could give one gift to the world this year, I would give the willingness to LOVE SOMEONE YOU DON’T AGREE WITH.

When I was a teenager, I learnt art in a Christian school. This was a very good school. It had high standards and fed my lively spiritual curiosity. At a time, I was reeeaaally into OSHO, an Indian guru. He was my introduction to eastern spirituality. I was “the philosopher of the school” according to the introduction of the school’s paper. If you don’t know OSHO, he was a radical. I found his message fitting to my rebel teenage soul. Which, how could best expressed in a Christian school than rebelling against organized religion.

OSHO said things like:

“I am against all organized religions” and “I would turn every temple into a disco”

He was a radical (…and as later learnt, a crazy, bad, predator I don’t want to be associated with…but he is part of my history and I can thank a lot to his teachings at a time.)

I also had a THEOSOPHY TEACHER.

Some teachers were very mean and dogmatic. There was one teacher who only gave you an “A” if you were a believer. Wow! But not her…she was different. Of course, she gave lectures. We learnt about Christianity. Its history and theology. I loved these classes. They were opened hearted and I found them easier than other classes. I especially loved singing despite my lack of singing talent. We also had open discussions about life. This meant a lot to me. It did because during this time we, teenagers, felt heard. We talked, she listened. And we had a lot to talk about. There are a lot of things going on in a teenager’s world. I think that’s what meant the most to me.

Once… (thinking back it’s crazy)… I brought one of OSHO’s books. I said to her that I love this book so much and I would like her to read it. I don’t know what I was thinking. Remember, this is the guy who would turn every temple into a disco...or burn them. I gave her the book. And what came next, made a never-fading impact. Two weeks later she handed back the book…” fair enough”… I thought.

But then she said;

“Thank you, Viktor. I have read the book. It’s very interesting. It sounds like an old wise man, philosophizing about the world. I like the idea of … X and Y ”

And gave the book back.

Well, did she read the whole book from cover to cover? Probably not. (Especially not the part about temples.) Or maybe she did. I don’t know. But that gesture of even considering something important to me, MEANT THE WORLD TO ME!

I’m sure, she didn’t agree with the book. She didn’t agree with what I believed at the time. She didn’t like this crazy “wise man”. But she was open and she respected me enough. It made me feel listened to. Understood. Connected. Not alone. And I thought this is true religion. This is true spirituality.

LOVING SOMEONE YOU DON’T AGREE WITH

On the spiritual path, just as on any path, there are so many shiny things. Seeing angels and auras, Pharaoh past lives, giving our power away to gurus, chasing bliss while running away from responsibilities.

As years pass, more and more I come to believe;

THAT TRUE SPIRITUALITY IS MUCH SIMPLER

It’s the simple moments we share with our fellow humans. Listen, understand, love them and share moments…even SHARE DIFFERENCES! (hmm…what a beautiful expression, “sharing differences”) It definitely seems to me that these years, this would be increasingly important.

2020…2021….2022

The world is tense. Which is not bad as tension sprouts a lot of changes. But what changes, it’ll come down to our attitude. If we are hostile towards difference we see violence. If we practice love healing can happen.

Vaccinated and non-vaccinated, Cops and Black Lives Matter, Feminists and Patriarchy, Metaverse, Gene modification, Neurolink and what it means to remain human, Authorities and Human Rights

Wow! I acknowledge that’s a lot.

I invite you to sit with it. Sit with your triggered-ness. Can you just be with whatever these words brought up? Anger. Fear. Upset. Can you find love while you hold whatever is present? Don’t judge the feelings. Just invite love. You don’t have to agree with it. Just let it hit you. Let it impact you just the way it does. And be curious. Be vulnerable. Because, believe me, you gain so much more when you don’t close.

Loving what is “bad” or “different” is so important.

If we ever want to make things better. If we want to make our life and people’s life better, this type of attitude is paramount. Don’t be afraid, you won’t become passive, complacent. You just stop being reactive. You have to love the “bad” in your life to be able to act as you want. If you attack it, you already lost, you got hooked. If you love it, you unhook yourself. You’re empowered.

You can only start your journey for a better life where you’re right now. And if you’re always reacting, you are re-acting your past life. You re-create what you’ve created up to this point. That’s why loving what is, is very important. This is the gift I would like to give this year.

And although a post on social media might not be enough, here it is.

This year, I benefited so much by LOVING SOMEONE I DON’T AGREE WITH. It brought people next to me closer. I had deep, loving conversations with my brother. We grew so much as a person and in love with my wife. And I probably have the healthiest relationship with myself so far.

This work you do, you really doing on yourself and it changes you and by that, you make a change outside. It’s like a gift.

The same way my teacher read my crazy book, from OSHO. In the same way, I see more love and growth around me. Who could you…who would you give this gift to? Or what would your gift be for the world?

These days we do Christmas very minimal with my wife. We don’t have a chiming bell; we have a plastic Christmas tree and we don’t even wrap the presents. But there is magic. The simple moments we spend together.

Don’t just buy gifts this year, be there for someone.

Thank you for reading!

I wish all of you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!